I remember when I first started coaching kids, I thought I would treat them with respect.  Treat them how I would want to be treated.  Basically, I thought that I tell them something to do and they would just do it because I was the coach and they were the athletes.

I quickly learned that some young athletes will respond that way, but others will not.  You need to gently remind them what they are supposed to be doing.  Sometimes that gently reminding turns into a louder remind or basically a yell.

I didn’t necessarily think I needed to be there buddy, but I wanted to just treat them the way young adults should be treated.  The problem is that most of these kids aren’t nearly ready to be treated like young adults.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  All it means is that they are still learning the ways of life.  Still maturing and growing.

At some point, I do think a coach can be a buddy.  It definitely isn’t when you are currently coaching that athlete.  You can be supportive, someone to talk to, but understand I’m the coach and you are the athlete.

As I’ve continued to grow as a coach, I’ve developed some guidelines that I think have helped me be the coach that I am today.  Here are some of them:

  • I don’t think you need to yell at a kid to belittle a kid.  I do think yelling can be part of coaching.  I yell when my athlete sets a new PR.  Or when an athlete finally figures out how to do a drill the right way.  Your yelling most of the time should be of excitement to instill the “fun” into the sport.

  • That being said, I feel discipline has been lacking in some homes and sometimes you do need to yell to get the attention of an athlete who is not following the rules or being disrespectful to an athlete or a coach.  With our ADD society, you have to tell these kids multiple times before they can even hear you, let alone process that request.

  • Yelling though should be a last resort.  Let the athletes know you will be fair with them, but this is a two-way street.  They need to know what you expect of them and what your rules are.  If those rules are broken, you can discipline kids with a firm tone of voice, but yelling should be the utmost last thing you do.  If you yell at every little mishap, your athletes will get used to it and when you really need them to understand something they might just tune you out.

  • Know that you have no idea what these kids think about you and what you could say or do that could affect them positively or negatively.  Understanding that, then make sure you are always positive with your athletes no matter what their body language or actions are.  I’ve had athletes that acted like they paid no attention to me whatsoever and would come up to me at the end of the year and appreciate how I was always supportive of them.

  • If you aren’t excited about their accomplishments, why should they.  Sports is a big deal to them so make sure you are one of their biggest cheerleaders.  Even if it is for a little thing, it will be appreciated.

  • As much as I tell athletes they need to be passionate about their sport, coaches should have a passion towards coaching.  Why are you coaching?  If it isn’t to positively impact these young athlete’s lives so they can develop awesome memories and experiences for themselves, then I don’t know why you are coaching.

Knowing about your sport is a must, but I don’t think it is necessary to be the coaching x’s and o’s stud in that sport.  I feel the other criteria I mentioned are for more important in shaping these young athletes lives than any x’s and o’s.

Besides, you can learn more x’s and o’s if you are lacking in that department.  Show the kids you care about them and their growth as an athlete, and they will respond back to you the way you as a coach would really appreciate.

So, there are times when it may not seem like I am your buddy.  That is probably correct.  I am your coach first and foremost.  If I don’t help you develop into an awesome young man or woman, then I’m not doing my job.  And sometimes that means I’m not your buddy, I’m your coach.

Photo courtesy of Daniel Borman on Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/dborman2/