When I first started my coaching career, I was a single man. Obviously, I dealt with a lot of parents who would introduce me to their kids and seeing if I could get them better for their sports.

Not every parent was the overzealous one you read articles about. They are really in the minority, but I did have friends who had such parents. They went over the top on everything. Whether it was dragging their kid out after a game to practice more drills. Be that obnoxious yelling parent at games. Going in and talking to the coach about playing time.

My initial assumption was that these types of parents felt their kid was the second coming of [insert any stud professional player here]. And many times, my assumption was correct.

Let’s now fast forward to present day.

Nowadays, I think the parents’ attitudes towards their kids’ sports have changed a little bit. I meet a lot of athletes and their parents and I would say the overwhelming reason that the parents want me to make their kid a better athlete is this:

“I just want him/her to have the best sports experience possible and wherever that takes him/her is just fine with me.”

I think the translation is basically just putting them in a position to succeed and have fun with whatever sport they are playing. I truly believe that is what most parents are thinking and they are just saying that.

Most parents realize that it is a small percentage of athletes that will have the opportunity to play professionally. That being said they are still faced with difficult decisions once their kids play sports.

I can now relate with those parents. I now have children of my own and one who is heavily involved in sports. As we (my wife and I) make decisions on what teams to tryout for and play on, even as a young kid (2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade), you sit here and ask, “Is this the right team that we’ll develop the skill set needed to build upon and make the next team this kid wants to play on?”

Parents now have to make decisions that they wonder if it will take the fun out of the sport for their athlete. After talking with a lot of my parents, I’ve come up with some of the decisions that these parents now have to make with their athletes.

  • Should my child play travel ball or rec ball? If you want your child to really improve in their sport, they need to be playing travel ball. Or that is the argument. But, is the financial investment going to be worth it? What if the kid gets burned out? And this leads us to the next question.
  • Should I drop the other sports and focus on the one? It burns me when travel coaches force kids to choose their sport and only their sport. Some don’t do that though. And then those athletes are poached by the coaches that do encourage specialization. Will the child still have fun if he/she chooses one sport and plays travel?
  • Which travel club is the right one for my kid? Some of these athletes travel all over the country to play on these club teams. Some athletes join a travel team and don’t get any playing time. Is that developing that athlete’s skill?
  • What if you have a situation with a coach? Just because your coach coaches the travel team does that mean he/she is a good coach? Are the tactics a form of motivation or a sign of a moron? Do you as a parent immediately go in and protect or guide the kid and help the kid resolve the issue on his/her own?
  • Am I doing enough to develop my athlete so that he/she can make his/her high school team? I think about this question all the time. Is playing for this team as a fifth grader going to develop my athlete or do nothing at all and thus set him/her back in athletic development? Does my fifth grade athlete need to play against all the best competition in the surrounding states and play the same amount of games that adults and the more mature bodies play?
  • Why can’t the athlete just play for the sake of having fun? Well you can, but in this day and age is that enough to develop the skill set so that the individual can make the team and continue to have fun. Or would a rec team be better suited where anymore it is low pressure and really for fun? But when the time comes to make a team you really want to make, will you have the skill to do it?
  • My kid loves to play but athletically is falling behind? Do you hire a private sport coach to improve my kid’s athleticism and skill? Is that too much? What age should I do it? I deal with parents all the time that ask these questions.

Ultimately, as parents we want our kids to have the best experience possible you can get out of sports. We struggle to figure out the healthy balance between what is enough or too much. I always ask when I hear of these travel schedules, what is the ultimate end game here? Only you can answer that and if these teams match with that end game, then maybe you have a match.

Like I said, most parents don’t have aspirations of their kid making the pros. It was always understood that you need to have a lot of good ability and put in a lot of hard work. Now it seems that you have to put in the same amount of practice time and play the same amount of games that the pros do in order to put you in a position to “maybe” succeed.

I would love to hear what you think. Feel free to put your comments in the comments box below.